Over the years, I've been asked by many students to talk about the 'energetic' aspect of sensuality. This evening, while on the hunt for another article, I found one I had written in May 2009 for a woman's magazine and thought you might be interested, I've refreshed it a bit .... but sensuality is sensuality, it doesn't really change!
The word Tantra/Tantric has been bandied around for decades - in the old hippy days, with the popularity of Indian culture rising in the West .... we were very keen indeed to find out more! Let's look at a bit of background and then I want to share some basic beginner techniques for you to try.
Originating in India 6,000 years ago, this ancient esoteric practice is about energies; body, mind and spirit. Tantric sensuality for women encompasses a deeply spiritual and holistic approach to sexuality.
At its core, Tantra views sexual energy as a powerful force that can be harnessed for personal growth, healing, and spiritual awakening.
Central to Tantric practices for women is the concept of the divine feminine energy, often represented by goddess figures such as Shakti in Hindu mythology. This feminine energy is seen as dynamic, creative, and life-affirming, embodying qualities of nurturing, intuition, and sensuality. Tantra encourages women to honour and awaken their own Shakti energy through various techniques including breathwork, meditation, and ritualized lovemaking.
In Tantra, sexual experiences are approached with mindfulness and presence, fostering a profound connection between partners that transcends physicality alone.
Women are encouraged to communicate their desires openly and authentically, creating a space where both partners can explore pleasure without judgment or expectation.
In a nutshell it’s about achieving a merging with your partner, a ‘total’ connection
beyond simple sexual pleasure.
It is about trusting, respecting, taking it slowly, about feeling loved and cherished, free from pressure of any kind: guilt, low self esteem, poor body image, or judgement.
Let me share a basic Tantric technique that is a sensual springboard to true intimacy:-
Shower
Create an atmosphere – rugs, cushions, candles, incense, music – whatever you both enjoy
Sit naked in front of each other on the floor, crossed legged if your joints allow – if not, find a position that is comfortable for your body. You may feel 'embarrassed' at first by either the technique/s or being naked together and remaining 'still' - bring a lightness of being to the room that will slowly disperse any awkwardness.
Place your right hand over his heart [left side] and he places his right hand over your heart.
Look deep into each others eyes and hold that eye contact throughout
Feel your breathing begin to synchronise
Bring all your attention to this touching, breathing and looking – for as long as feels 'right' to you.
When / if you feel drawn to saying one word, do so. Make it an emotion-word, e.g. 'cherish', 'safe', 'love',' beauty', 'contentment', 'connection' .... say it from the depth of your soul.
To increase sexual energy: place your right hand [negative] around the left side of your partner’s neck. Your left hand [positive] is placed on the top of the head of the male.
His left hand is wrapped around the right side of your neck and his right hand is placed on the top of your head. This makes a complete sexual energy circuit. Still maintaining eye contact and breathing together, you will begin to feel a merging of your energies, a closeness that has perhaps been elusive up until now.
Grateful thanks to Donna Eden for this particular technique and drawing
Another hold you might consider is holding your partner's navel and lower back at the same time, either standing, sitting or laying down and 'feeling' the energy move between your hands through their body, stimulating the energy in that lower area, you might even explore, once you can feel the connection, lifting one or both of the hands slightly off the body to include connecting to the biofield energy too.... experiment and explore.
If you are familiar with the chakra system, do the Celtic Spiral on your partner (see the link to my other blog below), or simply focus on, with an open hand, connecting to the chakra of choice, feeling the energies merge and then slowly moving it in whatever direction you feel drawn to: clockwise, anticlockwise, Figure 8 ...... play, FEEL the energies. The obvious chakras to work with are the first and second BUT each of them can enhance and support your sensual connection (explore my blogs on each of them) .... there are NO rules !
Surrender your senses to a massage with warm oil, tenderly applied. (see 'afterthought' at the end of this blog for suggested oils)
Using the middle finger or a feather lightly tracing over the skin, use your imagination.
Trace Figure 8's, hearts - both increase the energetic connection between you.
Decide beforehand who will be the ‘giver’ and who will be the ‘receiver’.
If you are lucky enough to be the receiver, don’t feel an ounce of guilt as you abandon yourself to fully experiencing the pleasure of simple touch.
The longer you linger in this sexual energy ‘warm up’ the better for what comes after……
Instead of, or in addition to, a massage with oils, you might explore tracing each other's Penetrating Flow - see the diagram. Start at the lower back up over the hips down to the genital area and then SLOWLY up the front of the belly, up over each breast, over the chest and hold the jaw, looking into their eyes with love.
Whether you stay with the familiar or explore new erotic positions, maintain eye contact [when possible] and take it very very slowly, with just enough movement to maintain arousal.
Work together to pull back a little if the sexual tension mounts too fast.
It is about making it last, sharing a profoundly sacred sensual experience.
Focus on feeling the energies and keep your breathing slooow.
We live in a world where fast is best.
Get into the sensuality slow lane and enrich your relationship.
Try it and see for yourself.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WORK WITH ENERGIES, here are some of the points reputed to enhance sensuality and libido ..... by improving circulation, balancing hormones, and reducing stress. Not sure where they are, doesn't matter massage with intention the general areas: on the front of the body, centre line for the Ren points and lower leg and foot (on both sides of the body) for the other points.
An added extra is to 'hook up' that central Ren pathway of energy with the corresponding Du pathway up the back, creating an energetic master 'circuit' around the body, stimulating the energies in all the organs, chakras and meridians and held long enough, encouraging the flow of the ancient 'Strangeflow' energies that enhance sensuality (especially the Penetrating flow).
How do you hook up? simply hold the 3rd eye area between the brows with the middle finger of one hand, push in and up gently. The middle finger of the other hand rests in the navel with a gentle push in and pull up. smile, breath and repeat the following statement ...
It is now safe for my energies to align in my body and with ... name of partner ....to maximise a loving, sensual connection - it is the right time, the right place and I feel such love and gratitude.
Ren 4
Location: Four finger-widths below the navel on the midline of the abdomen.
Benefits: Known as the "Gate of Origin,", the entrance into the lower Dan Tien, this point (Alarm point for Small Intestine) is believed to nourish the body's essence, strengthen the reproductive organs, and enhance sexual vitality. Bear i mind for conception or impotence.
Ren 6
Location: Two finger-widths below the navel on the midline of the abdomen.
Benefits: Called the "Sea of Qi," Ren 6 is renowned for boosting energy, enhancing vitality, and strengthening the lower abdominal region. It is particularly effective for improving sexual energy and stamina.
Ren 17
Location: On the midline of the chest, between the nipples.
Benefits: Known as the "Chest Centre," this point is the 'Alarm' point for Heart Protector. associated with the heart and lungs. It is said to enhance feelings of love and connection and the ability to express them.
Sp 6
Location: Three finger-widths above the inner ankle bone, along the inner side of the leg.
Benefits: This point is where the three yin meridians (Liver, Spleen, and Kidney) intersect and is known to enhance libido and overall vitality.
Kidney 3
Location: In the depression between the inner ankle bone and the Achilles tendon.
Benefits: As a major point for kidney health, Kidney 3 is crucial for boosting energy, enhancing sexual function, and balancing the endocrine system. It helps nourish the kidneys, which are considered the root of sexual vitality in TCM.
Liver 3
Location: On the top of the foot, in the depression between the first and second toes.
Benefits: Known for its ability to regulate Qi and blood flow, especially to the lower body, think of it like 'opening' an energetic gate.
AFTERTHOUGHT ....
Several essential oils are traditionally considered to be aphrodisiacs due to their ability to enhance mood, reduce stress, and promote a sense of well-being and intimacy. You choose the oils YOU feel drawn to, there are no real rules and if you can energy test, then test to see which oil (I'll normally only use one or possibly mix two) may be the best to use at that particular time.
For example, some of the most commonly recognized aphrodisiac essential oils are:
Ylang Ylang: Known for its sweet, floral fragrance, ylang ylang is often used to promote relaxation and reduce stress, helping to create a romantic and sensual atmosphere. It is believed to boost libido and enhance emotional connection between partners.
Jasmine: Jasmine has a rich, exotic scent that is both soothing and uplifting. It is reputed for its ability to increase feelings of love and attraction, making it a popular choice for enhancing sensuality.
Rose: The scent of rose is associated with love and romance. It has a calming effect that can help alleviate anxiety and depression, fostering a more open and affectionate state of mind.
Sandalwood: With its warm, woody aroma, sandalwood is often used in meditation and spiritual practices. It is thought to help balance emotions and increase a sense of inner peace, which can be conducive to intimacy and connection.
Patchouli: Patchouli has a musky, earthy scent that is grounding and calming. It is known for its ability to reduce stress and create a feeling of relaxation, making it easier for individuals to connect on a deeper level.
Lavender: While primarily known for its calming properties, lavender can also enhance romantic feelings by reducing anxiety and promoting a sense of peace and well-being.
Clary Sage: Clary sage has a warm, herbal scent and is known for its ability to balance hormones and reduce stress. It is often used to enhance feelings of euphoria and well-being, which can be beneficial in creating a romantic mood.
Neroli: Extracted from the blossoms of the bitter orange tree, neroli has a sweet, citrusy aroma. It is valued for its ability to relieve tension and anxiety, making it easier to relax and connect with a partner.
These essential oils can be used in various ways to create an aphrodisiac effect, including in diffusers, massage oils, bath blends, or simply inhaled from the bottle.
When using essential oils, it’s important to dilute them properly in a carrier oil for massage and try to track down the best possible quality, these will be the ones that have the true therapeutic qualities needed.
Those of you who know me, know my mantra is .... TEST TEST TEST - and if you don't know how to energy test, explore some of my blogs, or if you sign up for my newsletter you get 5 free gifts, one of which is a booklet on how to self-test (just saying, no pressure!).
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